First and foremost I wish to thank you for all the prayers you have ben offering for me. Things have been a little better but not much since I still have so much going on. Due to shortage in finances, I will yet again be postponing my schooling. I hated to do it but did not have much of a choice. I am looking for my own place and also a better job. My phone is now back on so that is a relief. My mother and I are still at each others throats though. I am beginning to believe that things will never change between us. We hardly ever talk anymore and that is fine with me because we always end up fighting anyways. My father talks to me occasionally but he feels so in the middle of things that it puts him between a rock and a hard spot. I try to keep him out of things so he doesn't feel that way but, I can't do much else for him. The rest of my family won't even talk to me because of what is going on between my mother and I but oh well, life goes on. I was able to quench my feelings for the man who was not good for me but I have recently met up with an old friend who may be more to me than just a friend. He is not the kind of man I would have gone for before but he has something that makes me feel drawn to him. I can't put my finger on it. But anyways, I should get going so I will talk to you later. Bye.
Mary
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7 comments:
Mary,
Though I have not commented on here for awhile, I have been reading your blog and, more importantly, praying for you. It truly is sad when you can't talk to your parents. I hope that you and your mother are able to reconcile with each other. I also hope that other things will begin to work out for you, especially school.
Mary, I am really glad to hear that things are getting at least marginally better. I want you to know that I'll continue to pray for you as much as I have been, which is a LOT, and I hope and pray that things get even better.
I've been praying for you a lot at Mass and every day. :) God bless you!
Mary,
Here are the lyrics to a song that I think you might like. It was written by a couple of friends of mine. I will try and see if I can't get you a recording of it somehow.
Verse I
Alone I stand surrounded,
In the middle of my life
And the suffering and pain I hold
Just don't seem worth the price.
While the world rushes by it seems
That I stand here unseen,
And I can't help but ask myself
Just what does it all mean!
Trapped inside this endless race
Of days that know no peace,
Of years that fill with emptiness,
And fears that never cease.
As the cares of life press down on me
I find it hard to breathe
Until in desperation
I fall down on my knees!
Chorus
And I awaken to your majesty,
Pulled from the dark at last I see
The selfishness that blinded me
And kept me away from you
Weighed down by my uncertainty,
I refused the graces to believe,
But now I reach out and receive
The depth of love you offer to me
Verse II
And now I stand in wonder
At the beauty of my life
And the hidden gift of all those tears
That helped to pay the price
Of a world lost in nothingness
Longing for your face
Of a soul who's only happiness
Is caught in your embrace
Trapped inside this boundless love
I began to feel
The power and the mystery
Each moment can reveal!
As the cares of life press down on me
I find it hard to breathe
until in adoration
I fall down on my knees
Chorus
That's cool, Kodi. Who wrote that one?
Still praying, Mary... God is good, you'll get it sorted out soon. Just keep praying for yourself and allow Him to work through you. I've found it helps a lot to offer up your day to God and ask Him to help you accept all the things that come your way, and also ask him to help you do His will. I'm so much happier when I do that. Give it a try. I'm sure it'll help.
All good advice.
I know who wrote that song. I love it to pieces, and it is especially good for hard times.
One of the authors actually went through cancer and chemo therapy and all the pain, doubt, and darkness that goes along with that. She really knows what she's talking about and I'm sure she would encourage the heck out of you to pray! Do you have a Catholic Church you can go to to just be with Jesus? I don't know what will happen if you do that, but you should. YOU SHOULD!
Also, here's a quote from someone... actually, its not word for word, but here's the gist:
Whatever you are going through, if you trust in God, He will either take your suffering away completely or give you unfailing strength to bear it.
Heh, that sounds about right for what I'm going through... :)
Prayers,
Gregaria
I am glad to hear things are doing a little better. I'm still praying! Don't give up.
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